2 Moms, 4 Boys and an RV: 7 Tips on Survival

An abridged version of this post first appeared in Outdoor Family Magazine.

What  could possibly go wrong? Four boys jostling in a small space, no husbands to pawn them off on for a few seconds of peace?

Well. This. This could go wrong.

having a hard time x10
having a hard time x10

And it did. Over and over again. But that’s not the whole story.

The idea was born after my husband told me he was going away on a surf trip with our oldest son, Kyle.

The big boys bonding while surfing in Ixtapa
The big boys bonding

He chose to go the one week of summer when there would be no camp. So,  while they got to go do this:

view of their world for one week
view of their world for one week

I would get to do this

crazy kids
just another day in paradise


No. I refused to let it happen. So, I asked the boys: what should we do?

adventurous boys
You talking to ME!?

We had to do something. I didn’t think I’d survive the week without having to becoming a zoo keeper and finding a way to re-invent the hokey pokey. Plus, I wanted to have some fun too.

I’d been thinking a lot lately about San Diego. It’s where I went to college and a place I’ve always loved for it’s beauty and people’s friendliness..

There’s a beach campground  in the northern part of the county called San Onofre State Beach. I used to tent camp there with my girlfriends, pre-marriage, and then our family started RV camping there postpartum. It’d been years and I wanted to go back.

San Onofre surfing zinc
This was the last time father and son, Kyle surfed here

I booked our campsite on a website called Reserve America. Most campsites nationwide can be booked there. Because there is such a high demand for space in some campgrounds,  you’d normally have to make a reservation 6 months in advance (the earliest you can reserve a campsite in California) and it still wasn’t easy. You’d have to get on your computer, your smartphone and your friend’s computer at 7 in the morning and keep hitting refresh until you found a site you could call your own. It’s like winning a crazy radio station contest. For some reason though, there were still plenty of spots available when I looked at dates two weeks out, so hurray!

Tip #1: Stay at San Mateo Campgrounds 

Since we wanted to be around the San Onofre State Beach area, there are a few campground options but if you want to be as close as possible to San Onofre State Beach, then you have to stay at the campground there. However,  there are two different areas to choose from, the ones at San Onofre State Beach and the ones at San Mateo Bluffs. Its tempting to choose the San Onofre State Beach ones because those sites are closer to the ocean. I made this mistake the first time I went. They’re also closer to the 5 freeway and the railroad tracks. When you finally lie down after a long day at the beach, it feels like the cars are inches, instead of feet, away from rolling over your head.  Instead of falling asleep to the serenade of ocean waves, you’re awake all night praying not to get hit and popping awake every 5 seconds after drifting off between passing trucks. When the train rolls by, you get the extra added pleasure of having the ground bounce beneath you. Earplugs might help but not by much. The San Mateo Bluffs, on the other hand, are a 5 minute drive away, still very convenient….and quiet. Just do a search for San Onofre SB and under “Narrow Results” click on the drop down menu called “Loop” – then select a San Mateo Bluffs site from there.

Tip #2: Have an RV delivered to your site

We are bargain travelers and always trying to get the best deal. Normally, when we camp, my husband goes onto Craig’s List and finds a private party from whom we rent an RV for a fraction of the cost of renting from a dealer.  We drive it ourselves. We stuff our SUV with everything we’ll need for the week or so that we’ll be using the RV and transfer everything when we arrive to the place it’s parked. It’s not hard when you have someone helping but I didn’t have the time or energy to do all that on my own with two crazy kids.

I had heard of companies that do drop off rentals of trailers. It turns out, every campsite has their own companies they’re contracted to allow RV drop offs. I called to see which companies were authorized to drop off at the campsite we chose and I was told Luv 2 Camp was my ticket. I was a little annoyed that there wasn’t a few to choose from (some campgrounds have this option) but renting from them ended up being about the same price as renting a nearby RV , driving it to the campground and then paying extra to have them stock it with all the essentials Luv 2 Camp would already have included. Remember, we’re going for easy here. Besides, they were cool when I spoke with them and told them what we were doing and gave me a free night for an honest review.

So with the foundation of our 3 night trip in place, all I needed was to recruit a trail blazing friend with kids to be my partner in crime.

I found my kindred spirit  in my friend,  Lori, whose husband is NOT into camping and wished her well as she packed weekend gear for two boys and a mommy.

lori packs surfboards and gear
Not afraid of heights
her car
her car
my car
my car

Tip #3: Use a list to remember what to bring

I’m pretty sure I have permanent mommy brain, which is a form of temporary amnesia that affects the hormonally-charged and sleep-deprived moms in early parenthood. Only mine never seemed to have gone away so lists are a must. There are several that are helpful for camping but I used the one at GoRVing.com to help me remember all those little items that non-regular campers might forget. Like firewood (they sell this at the campground for $6 a bundle if you do forget) or a first -aid kit. (We use colloidal silver first -aid gel and band-aids to heal mostly everything.)

You must bring a first-aid kit because someone always gets hurt.


Not sure why with my mellow kids.

Not afraid of heights either
Not afraid of heights either

Luckily, Lori’s boys were mellow so they sort of balanced my jumping jellybeans out.

Shaka bra
Shaka bra

Sort of.

Doing the dab
Doing the dab

Even with a list, we didn’t make it to the campsite until about 7pm -after all the last minute shopping…

he's only pretending to be helpful
he’s only pretending to be helpful

…and fighting that went on throughout the day (everything takes MUCH longer when you must stop every 2 minutes to break it up)…

…everyone was super excited to see the RV trailer all set up and waiting for us!

inside of the RV
the calm before the storm
the welcome dab
the welcome dab

We unloaded our stuff fast because the inmates were getting restless and hungry. I had brought salmon to grill on the campfire pit and Lori tossed together a salad and pasta inside the trailer. That’s the really nice thing about having an RV. You get a smidgen of comfort next to the rugged wild.

wild grill!
wild campfire!

How to build a campfire:

All you need to build a killer campfire is dry wood stacked in a tepee formation, newspapers beneath it and lighter fluid sprayed over the whole set up. Perfect every time.

the perfect fire for the perfect night
the perfect fire for the perfect night

One thing I didn’t love is the rental company provided dishes and cups that were all plastic. In real life, we try and stay away from plastic, especially with hot liquids, because of all the carcinogenic and hormonally disruptive chemicals that it leeches. So we just put paper plates and cups on our shopping list for the next day (there’s a Ralph’s about a mile away). We would temporarily forego our commitment to the environment so we wouldn’t have to do dishes or poison ourselves with plastic. I think Mother Nature would understand.

The next day found us up early and excited for the beach after a delicious breakfast of eggs, hash browns and turkey bacon. Score another point for the stovetop inside the warm RV.

Morning Sunshine!
Morning Sunshine!

We packed our beach gear and set out.

remember the days when you'd only bring a towel and baby oil to the beach?
remember the days when you’d only bring a towel and baby oil to the beach?

One great thing about camping at this campsite is that your parking pass for the campground is also good for the beach parking lot. Try to get to the beach on the early side, as the lot fills up fast and you have to wait in a line of cars  until the current occupants call it a day.

Tip #4: Bring a surfboard or boogie board

One reason we love San Onofre State Beach is because it has the best and longest wave in Southern California. It’s the perfect place to learn to surf or just ride the ocean for what seems like forever. We specifically like a section of the beach called Old Man’s.

Costco has reasonably priced foam boards which are perfect for beginners and you’ll find this beach sprinkled with them.

Getting ready to shoot out the tube
Getting ready to shoot out the tube

The waves were perfect the first day, small and long. All the boys went in and loved splashing around.

Grommit in training
Grommit in training
Getting creative with the boards
Innovative ways to use the boards
Nothing's perfect - there's always someone unhappy about something
Nothing’s perfect – someone’s always  unhappy


Tip #5 Bring a wetsuit and booties

If you’re going to surf or boogie board, then you should probably bring a wetsuit and a pair of booties to protect your feet from the small rocks in the shallow parts of the beach.


We forgot ours.

The boys brought their spring suits, which are wetsuits with short sleeves and pants legs, but we all forgot booties. It kinda sucked. The boys handled it ok but mommy has sensitive feet (or she’s become a wussy) and didn’t love having to navigate through those slippery, pointy little rocks. You can rent a wetsuit for $15 a day through a surf shop like Rip Curl and even a surfboard which is what Lori did.

Gidget getting ready to charge it!
Gidget getting ready to charge it!


We spent the day headquartered at the beach.

Home Away from Home
Home Away from Home

Went into the water when we felt like it.

Camping San Onofre
Charging it!

Even mommy got into it!

See ya!
See ya!
Riding the tide!
Riding the tide!


But it was Kaleb who really impressed.

Waiting for it...paddle hard!
Waiting for it…paddle hard!

This is the boy who 2 years ago wouldn’t even get in the water.

surfing Old Man's at San Onofre
My guy…..

And now he rushes it!

surfing old man's at san onofre state beach
Carving the waves

We had an epic day at the beach…..

Moms, boys and surfboards....living the dream!
Moms, boys and surfboards….living the dream!

…but all good things must end. We weren’t sad though because we still had our campsite to look forward to!

sticky wetsuits
Those wetsuits sure do stick!

I have said before that camping people are notoriously nice. The boys made friends with a man who was camping with his family at the site next-door. At first I wasn’t so sure this was a good idea so  I stayed around to watch. Then, I made sure they all knew they couldn’t go into anyone’s RV alone and after a while I realized that despite all the media portrayal to the otherwise, there are still nice people in this world with no hidden agenda (I still kept an eye out though;)

Playing frisbee with their new friend
Playing frisbee with their new friend

Tip #6 Bring Bikes

It’s not just for boys. Kids love to explore and there isn’t a safer place to do it than around a campground. It really is like a little village where everyone looks out for each other.


Plus the mommies finally got a break when they could relax…

appropriately named :)
appropriately named 🙂

…and make some dinner. This night’s menu was organic hotdogs, veggie burgers, salad and s’mores!

a camping essential!
a camping essential!

After all that fun, I was super happy to climb into my warm bed.

perks of an RV #246
perks of an RV #246

The next morning, we were up bright and early, ready to head back to our favorite beach!

happy campers
happy campers

The boys put on their beach uniforms.

punk rock surfers
punk rock surfers

And we headed out for another day of adventure. Today the tide was super low and after battling the rocks enough times (and gathering some toe injuries along the way), the boys decided to explore the tide pools created by the receding water.

exploring the finer things
exploring the finer things
who's that handsome guy?
who’s that handsome guy?

After another long and fun day at the beach, we went back to our campsite and loaded up on more s’mores, wine and chocolate (oh yeah, there was a dinner in there too but this time we just got Mexican because there was a drive-through restaurant next door to the surf shop where we had to return our wetsuits and surfboard – the mommies had earned a break!)

The night flew by…..

moonlight camping
moonlight camping

Sadly, the next morning we had to load up our gear to head back home.

packing it all back in
packing it all back in

As we were getting ready to leave, the boys rode back to us, bike tires blazing, to tell us they had discovered a blind cat in a sewer and could they have some food to feed it?

camping really does bring out the best in a city boy
camping really does bring out the best in a city boy

Success! The “blind” cat succumbed to their entreaties to eat and he gobbled up the remainder of my lox and salmon jerky. I think this cat had a good day.

lucky cat
lucky cat

We were determined, despite how tired we were, to squeeze out every possible moment from the beach which had also become our friend’s favorite. Even though our camping passes expired on this third day, they were still good for beach parking thus saving us $15.

We discovered the waves were a bit bigger on our final day.

big = real waves
bigger = real waves

The boys went in but soon gave up.

what a drag....
what a drag….

So they did other things to get their energy out before riding in the car for two hours.

I think the surfers were taking bets....
I think the surfers were taking bets….

Tip #7: Bring a camera

It was time to go home and although the overall beauty we all experienced during the three days of camping lies more in our hearts than in these words or pictures – it will be through these pictures that we will be able to relive our experiences.

a moment of true brotherhood...
a moment of true brotherhood…
playing pokemon with cards instead of screens
playing pokemon with cards instead of screens
waking up with friends
waking up with friends
overcoming fears
overcoming fears
We not only survived, we thrived!
We not only survived, we thrived!



Tips on Healthy Eating: Replanting Your Tower Garden

Sometimes pictures speak louder than words so I’ve made this cute, little 6 minute video to walk you through replanting your Tower Garden.

Please subscribe to this blog on the homepage to receive a free ebook on wellness and share this post if you found it helpful (or you thought my kids were cute!).

Summer Book Giveaway!

You know how when your friend tells you they’re in a rock band and they’re performing in the bar across town and would you come and support them and you sigh internally because you’ve done this before but you go anyway and you smile and pretend to be wowed by the pedantic, slightly off-key music because you love your friend and want them to be happy? Well. This isn’t anything like that at all.

My uber talented friend Julie Gardner wrote a book called Letters For Scarlet.

Book signing at Barnes and Noble! Photo by Charlene Ross

And it rocks. Literally. This is the payoff from sitting in all those dingy bars while your friend belts old Ozzy Osborne hits while swaying on stage. This is your moment in the summer sunshine, a slice of time to yourself, to get lost in a drama that encompasses friendship, marriage, betrayal and of course love because everything returns back to love.

Since I’m the type of person who closes her eyes during movie previews when they’re showing something I already want to watch, I won’t spoil it for you here. I will say this though – as it won’t give anything away – a horrible thing happens to Scarlet and her two friends at the time of their life that should be a beautiful beginning. Then she is betrayed by her two friends. Oh, did I mention everyone is beautiful in this book? I love reading about beautiful, flawed people because it makes me feel like we’re all connected after all – and not just in our yoga classes.

I have a free signed copy of Letters For Scarlet. You can win it by commenting below. It can be anything: why you love summer, what friendships mean to you, your irritation at having to think of something to say in order to win a book. Anything. At the end of the week (Friday night) I will randomly select a winner based on the comments submitted. Easy peasy. And then you will not be irritated that I twisted your arm to use the annoying comment submission form so you could enter the contest because you will have your glossy, autographed book to enjoy at the beach, or the pool, with your margarita or kambucha.


Out Of This World Convention

Many wonder if there’s life beyond our planet, alien beings who may visit our world or who have shaped our history in some way through past visitations. Others just scoff at the idea of aliens, saying if they haven’t seen it, it must not exist.


A convention of UFO enthusiasts called Contact in the Desert will assemble in Joshua Tree, CA from June 3-6 to discuss and explore the latest finding on that very subject.

Paul Andrews is co-producing the event with Victoria Jennings. Andrews said when he was a child between the ages of three and five he had had several encounters with alien life forms. He remembers going into his sister’s room, who was two years his elder, and witnessing a light in seeming communion with her. He said the light enveloped her body and she seemed to be conversing with it and understood whatever was being communicated with her. She wasn’t scared, he remembers, and enjoyed the experience but never talked about it after her parents recorded her version of the encounters while she was still a young girl. “She grew into a conservative lady who didn’t travel in those fringe circles of alien believers,” Andrews said, “She didn’t want people to think she was kooky so she never really talked about it after that.”


Though his sister decided to turn away from that part of her life, Andrews has harbored a lifelong interest in researching and investigating alien visitations and our government’s cover-up of those events. More and more mass encounters are being documented all over the world. Crop circles and the release of documents formerly classified by the US government from the 1940-1960s has kindled a mainstream excitement of UFO phenomenon and ignited people’s curiosity of the possible.


The CITD event will showcase 40 presenters who are researchers, professors, scientists and journalists. “These are respected professionals with published papers and books,” said Andrews, “We weed out the crazies.”

Agoura Hills mom of three, Alicia Wilbur, is attending the event with five of her girlfriends. Wilbur is a scientist and said she’s never experienced any encounters herself but said, “It’s highly probable that aliens exist.” Wilbur is going to the event to learn more about the theories around ancient aliens who helped developing peoples construct enormous monuments that seem beyond the capacity of their time…or even today’s times.

History Channel’s Ancient Aliens star Giorgio A. Tsoukalos and expert David Childress, will talk about that very thing. “Humans in those times couldn’t have built those things,” Andrews said. Wilbur wants to know more about how the placement of these mysterious structures mirror our constellations as she’s seen on the show.


Calabasas mother of two, Shoshana Kaplan has been interested in the possibility of extraterrestrial life since her 20s. Only recently, however, did she experience her own potential UFO sighting – this past November at an outdoor birthday party in Agoura Hills with several hundred other witnesses – after which the government claimed the event they witnessed was a missile launch. “It wasn’t like any missile I’ve ever seen,” said Kaplan, “It hovered in the air and it wasn’t that far above us. After a while, it emitted a green conical light trail and then suddenly took off in a completely different direction. We all saw it and many of us were taking pictures and video.” Kaplan is also going to CITD to hear about the declassified government files. “I don’t know why they don’t tell us,” Kaplan said, “There’s pilots and military that claim they’ve seen spaceships but the government always denies it.”


One reason Andrews said they deny it is because the government has a program that takes parts of downed spacecraft, technology that is far beyond our own, and distributes it among the various military branches as well as private defense companies. The book The Day After Roswell written by Colonel Philip Corso, assigned to that detail, will also be discussed at CITD.

Attendees will be privileged to hear the latest information about the possibility of space travel from nuclear physicist, Stanton Friedman, learn about various conspiracies from award-winning journalist, Jim Mars and David Wilcox will talk about the secret space program that uses technology far more advanced than most know exists and the encounters those who’ve participated within them have had with alien life forms.

The weekend is packed with workshops, panel discussion and activities. One thing both Wilbur and Kaplan are looking forward to is the night hike to Giant Rock, a site that has a very high geomagnetic field and is a possible area previously visited by extraterrestrials. It was also the venue of the first UFO conventions hosted by George Van Tassell in the 1950s.

For more information please visit contactinthedesert.com


Giving Mothers the Gift of Peace

(This article originally appeared in YogiTimes Magazine – I just added all these groovy pictures)

One thing no one ever tells an expectant mother is the arrival of her beautiful, cooing little bundle of chub will be the departure of her private bathroom time, regular showers and any hope of an uninterrupted night of sleep. There might be a mother who escapes from this reality and we have a special name for her. Lucky.

Retro housewife with freshly made lemonade
Always making lemonade out of lemons

The rest of us, however, have to find ways to keep our sanity between the coos and giggles. Agoura Hills yoga teacher, Drorit Rudin, had three kids within three years and four months of each other. She tried to take care of herself in between diaper changes and regularly attended gym classes though never really connected with the vibe there. Rudin said her life changed when she found a yoga class that embodied everything she was. “There were no shoes, no one was checking each other out, no competitiveness. There was a space created for peace.” Rudin says the peace she found on her yoga mat extended into her family life. “I was able to be more calm and my kids responded so much better.”

Drorit Rudin found yoga and was able to find peace in chaos

Malibu resident, Torrie Simshauser, had a similar experience the first time she did yoga. “I could feel the difference at a cellular level,” she said. All the breathing and meditative nature of moving between the poses eased her anxiety, Simshauser said, and after nine months of daily practice, she decided to train to become a teacher. “I wanted to share all the benefits I was getting in classes that was extending outside my classes, like balance, stability and calmness with others.”

Tore Simshauser strikes a pose in Malibu

Both yogini mommies can thank Sridhar Silberfein for their practice as he was one of the people responsible for bringing yoga to the United States. In the early 1970s, Silberfein opened the first yoga studio in Los Angeles in Topanga Canyon. He introduced Swami Satchidananda to the stage at Woodstock to deliver an invocation in front of 500,000 music fans. Overwhelmed by the largest gathering of people ever assembled in the United States, Silberfein promised the Swami that someday the same number would come together to chant the various names of God, practicing Kirtan, or sacred music.

Woodstock was the largest gathering of people ever assembled in the United States

Forty years later, Silberfein created Bhakti Fest (which means love and compassion, a devotional opening up of the heart) in Joshua Tree where they do just that.

Sridhar and Ram Dass
Every year Sridhar Silberfein has video taped conversations with Ram Dass shown at the festivals he created

Bhakti Fest offers unlimited yoga taught by the top instructors in the world. Bhakti Fest also has sacred music and workshops where people learn the meaning behind the chants. From that, Shakti Fest was born which specifically celebrates the creative divine feminine. Shakti Fest features additional workshops like belly dancing and hula hoop, classes in tantric and Ayurvedic.

Silberfein, born to a Jewish family, wants to make clear that yoga isn’t a religion, it’s a way of life. “People start to practice and see the difference in their face and body and want more of that. They may decide to meditate five minutes a day. They may decide to eat cleaner.”


Both festivals are Silberfein’s peaceful alternative to what he feels are the angst ridden rap and rock concerts that he says encourage personal destruction through the abuse of drugs, alcohol and relationships. Instead, he offers guests a healthy experience, free of any mind altering substances, based on the return to a youthful innocence which he says we lose at age 8 in response to the ego’s need to protect itself from the frantic nature of the world. “It’s very difficult to live in the world today,” Silberfein points out, “We need a daily practice that keeps us quiet in our minds, that keeps us centered from the hassle and frazzle of everyday life.”


As a young mother, Rudin said, she was always worrying about specific things that might happen to her kids, things that were mostly beyond her control. “After yoga, I didn’t worry as much,” she said. Instead, she started every class by setting a positive intention of peace and happiness for each of her children. It spilled over into her life outside her yoga practice and she was able to feel that peace and happiness herself.


Sometimes, Simhauser said, her kids will practice yoga with her. She wants for them to have the gift of calm that she found later in life. Silberfein says the Kid’s Village at Shakti Fest is designed to give children those very skills at an age where they could grow into them. There is music, dancing and puppets. They learn how to work with crystals and even get to take them home. They create gratitude flags to hang in their rooms. And maybe most importantly, they learn how to sit still for two to ten minutes, a skill most adults can probably use.They learn to center themselves in the face of life’s chaos.


Shakti Fest brings together the most talented female yoga teachers and musical artists. There is a Woman’s Tent, closed to men, run by female elders who discuss sensitive topics specific to women’s struggles. “The idea is to empower the women,” said Silberfein. “They need to have their own space, which is closed to their husband and children. She can tell them it’ll make her a better mommy and wife.”

yoga mom

Empowerment was something Rudin found eight years ago, when she woke up one morning and decided to open up her own yoga studio, now called Agoura Power of Yoga. “I wanted to practice the type of yoga that I loved,” Rudin said, “At the time the closest studio was in Calabasas, so I create my own.” Rudin said she gets texts, emails and cards from women thanking her for helping them to reconnect with their inner power.

o“In many relationships, women give up their power.” Silberfein said he disagrees with this. “We should be kissing their feet in gratitude for the things they do.”

yes please

Shakti Fest donates a portion of their proceeds to an orphanage in India that is home to 18 girls. “We want to have a festival where we can give back to the people, so after we pay our expenses, that’s what we do.”

Shakti Fest begins its sixth year at the Joshua Tree Retreat Center in Joshua Tree, CA on May 13 and goes from 7am to 2am until May 16. For more information go to: http://shaktifest.bhaktifest.com/ Discounts are given to veterans, military, students and seniors.



Frosted Cowboy Giveaway: the book! (not the drink)

I’m so excited to be doing my first ever GIVEAWAY! Read to the bottom to learn how you can get your very own FREE copy of Frosted Cowboy! ALSO, if you are local, you are invited as my guest to a book signing party on Thursday, April 7th at Bellini in Westlake Village at 5:30pm!

frosted cowboy

Before I moved to Agoura Hills, I didn’t know anyone except my husband.

I met Charlene Ross because she is my neighbor and our boys went to school together. I just thought she was another mom until she passed by my house one day, walking toward the park with a notebook and a laptop pressed to her chest. “Oh,” I asked, part curious, part friendly, “where are you going?”

“I’m going to write in the park,” Charlene replied. “You write?!” Surprise and excitement burst through the surface of my suburban mom calm. And here I thought she was just another mom. “Yeah,” she gave me a humble little smile, cute dimples lighting up her blue eyes. “That’s so cool!,” I said, “Who do you write for?” She told me she had a blog and wrote for Skirt! and the Agoura Hills Patch. “Right on!” I replied and added her to the file in my head called “future writing group members”.

I was starting almost from scratch, but I was busy building a life in my head. In that life, I would be surrounded by amazing and talented women who liked to write. Eventually, that happened and the success we’ve all experienced as a result of encouraging and supporting each other is immeasurable. Charlene Ross and Julie Gardener published their first books. Lexi Rohner and Kim Tracy Prince are featured in anthologies. Laurel Janssen Byrne built her own social media company and I write regularly for LA Parent.

But we’re here to talk about Charlene.

Charlene’s book is called Frosted Cowboy and it’s a chick-lit book about Laney Delaney and her  journey of self discovery and all the mistakes she makes – that we all made -along the way, except hers are way more funny and her boyfriends are way more hot. Laney, like most of us growing into ourselves, has no idea how cool she really is – she’s a wedding dress designer for crying out loud! (Did I just use that terrible cliche? Now we all know why Charlene is a published author and I am not).

I mostly read articles, science fiction or literary fiction. So, I haven’t read any chick-lit since Bridget Jones’s Diary in college. Also since becoming a mom, my reading time is  limited. It’s usually right before bed, when it’s finally quiet, that I indulge in reading time. Often, it takes me a while to finish a book. However, I flew right through Frosted Cowboy, to the point of where I was carrying it around with me, making flimsy excuses to my family that I had to hurry up and read it so I could tell Charlene what I thought of it. Yeah, right. I just wanted to see what would happen to Laney after she walked in on her fiancé filing a “brief” in his secretary’s “desk” on top of the kitchen counter in the apartment Laney shared with him.

I highly recommend this book and I am so happy to say that I really enjoyed it because otherwise, it would be kinda awkward at next month’s writer’s group meeting.

There is also a prequel available for a free download to your ebook reader! Love on the Rocks was a great way to extend my relationship with Laney.

In honor of my friend’s amazing accomplishment, I am giving away a free, signed copy of her book to someone who comments below. Just tell me why you need a break from your life and I might make that happen for you. I’ll pick the winner on 4/18/16 so if you don’t hear from me, then at least you know where to find a great read for your summer vacation!

All dimples and pen


The Zoo – A Walk Through the Wild Side

I’m not really a zoo person. I want to get excited about the animals and the obscure, rare anacondas crawling around the other creepy bugs ~ but I know if I actually encountered those things in the wild, I’d probably step on them. Or throw something at them since I’d probably be too busy screaming to get close enough to do that. Plus, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking about those undercover expose’s of how these poor captive animals get abused. Or maybe that’s the circus but regardless, now I have kids and for them, I’ll pretend to be excited. I want them to be excited about nature and wildlife. I want them to grow up and feel a sense of responsibility to protect and preserve as much of that natural life as possible so the corporations don’t take them all away.

So when I got an invitation from LA Parent to attend a private showcase of some exhibits accompanied with behind the scenes zookeeper tours, I really did get excited. Excited enough to drive from Agoura Hills to the LA Zoo on a Saturday morning to be there by 8:30. But they were kind enough to feed us breakfast first so that was one thing I could cross off the morning to do list.

muffins for breakfast!? woohoo!
why are you taking a picture of me eating?

We started with introductions from the zoo president, Karen B. Winnick, and zoo director, John R. Lewis that talked about the programs we could expect in the near future. Santa and his reindeer came in December, of course, for a Reindeer Romp. It’s actually a good opportunity to use your kid’s interest in Christmas to learn tidbits about the real animals who will be visiting the zoo starting December. We’ll have to keep it in mind for next year. There will also be a promising sounding nighttime event called LA Zoo lights in December. I’m sure we’ll be schlepping back there for that too because animals at night surrounded by lasers and light shows sounds too good to pass up.

they fed us so we listened

But what is coming up soon is the Big Bunny Spring Fling from March 25th to March 27th 10am-4pm. All Bunny activities are free with paid zoo admission, except for Bunny photos, of course, but they promise those will be affordable.

But back to our zoo day.

The first exhibit we visited was the Harbor Seals. I guess these are the guys you see around the ports swimming around the big cargo ships. Apparently, many of them are blind because they get cataracts in the wild…maybe from all the ocean pollution?….and the ones that get injured or are obviously impaired, get brought to zoos and live in the lap of luxury surrounded by admiring children and fed a daily diet of sardines and fried calamari. No. Probably not fried but it sounds yummy to this Russian girl! Not so much to her American hubby. Jessica, the keeper who takes care of these guys said, Alfred the current occupant is blind but uses his whiskers like fingers to “see” what’s around him. Alfred’s offspring were also born with vision problems but because they were lucky enough to have access to the great vets at the zoo, their vision was restored after cataracts surgery. Jessica thinks of these guys as her babies since she doesn’t have any babies of her own. At least she’s not getting up in the middle of the night to change diapers or nurse them, but that’s sweet that she’s so fond of them.

you can kinda see the sea lions behind these handsome guys if you squint

Then we visited the Meerkats who resembled flashers as they warmed their bodies in the morning sun.

watch out! it’s the police!

Did you know flamingos are born grey and white? I didn’t either. They turn pink from eating shrimp and carrots.

put another shrimp on the barbie dahling!

They also lay conical shaped eggs so they don’t roll out of the nest.

yep, that’s an egg

That seems so practical. I wonder why the other birds don’t do that? Oh wait……

Tomistomas are in the crocodile family so no one is cuddling up with them. I thought the most interesting thing about them is they grow their entire lives. They may not be the perfect pet but I feel the sprinkles of a good children’s story here….maybe something to do with a bathtub…..

I am very big and scary

There’s only so much my five and seven year old can take since they’re not picturing bathtubs and catastrophes with runaway animals….so we got to the gorillas just in time.

Gorillas! Cool!

Turns out gorillas are vegetarians. We arrived at feeding time and got to see their healthy array of leafy greens, fennel, and onion being thrown over the wall to them. They walked around clutching their prizes and sat in the shade to devour their goodies. Their bulbous bellies leave plenty of room for all the gas that is produced by their diet. Momma would be proud of their healthy choices (though she might not be able to sit in the same room for too long!)

Not much hunting going on here


no, you cannot have any!

One cutie pie walked around with his blanky covering his back. He would stop every so often and cuddle with it like a typical toddler. Such a sweet, little 400 pound marshmallow!



Finally, we visited what promised to be the Elephant Enrichment Center. Now, when I think of elephants, zoos and circuses, I think abuse. Maybe it’s the over sensationalized mainstream media looking for stories – but I don’t think so. I think throughout history, those floppy eared pachyderms have gotten pretty worked by those taking advantage of their sweet natures. Read Water for Elephants if you don’t believe me.
But this experience promised to be different.

We joined a crowd of people mutely watching what appeared to be an elephant in the midst of getting a pedicure.


Well. I waited and watched and listened to the keeper telling us about how important it was to get the mud out from between the elephants hoofs and how the keepers meticulously washed the bottoms of their legs and scrubbed them clean and it reminded me that I hadn’t had a pedicure in quite some time and I put that on my list of things to do in the near future.


These elephants didn’t look like they were being abused so I left feeling reassured and longing for a foot rub.

Next we visited the lions because you can’t go to the zoo and not see the lions.


Since we were on our own at this point (the tour had ended with the gorillas) there wasn’t anyone telling us any nifty facts about the lions so I tried to read the signs attached to the enclosures to educate my children, who at this point were more concerned with the water guns being sold by the vendors lining the paths around the zoo. Come on! I was trying to make up in volume what they lacked in enthusiasm for lion trivia.  I finally had to use the water pistols as leverage to maintain calm until my wild animals reached the exit. Everyone made it out alive and they wanted to come back. I call that success.

they only look tame

Outside In

There’s a time in my life for which I should be very grateful. That’s what the doctors have told me every time they’ve heard the story and every time they’ve seen my scars. One doctor even said, had the accident happened 15 years earlier, I would be missing a leg for sure.

But I am old enough to know that what should be and what is are often very different.

When I first met my husband, I hid myself. He didn’t know what was beneath the clothes or behind the girl. Because it was a new relationship, in every moment I was reborn. I got to recreate myself in his eyes and through his eyes, I saw that I was pleasing.

As we strung the days we spent together into a happy little fantasy, there came the time he brought me home after a date and we were kissing on my couch. I had rehearsed the line in my head all day. Maybe even the day before, anticipating it’s inevitable arrival. As I felt his hands start to move beneath my shirt, I knew the moment had come. Instead of excitement, I felt dread. I stopped kissing and moved my head back a few inches, preparing to say the line. “Are you ok?” he asked.

“I have some scars,” I whispered, and waited into the moment. Preparing for rejection, a tentative drop of his hands and the space growing larger between our bodies. He didn’t say anything. I felt shame course through my heart. I felt his fingers lift my face and a wonder at the laugh I heard him make. “Um, yeah,” he said. “I figured you’d have some scars.”

Five years before that night, I had been in a motorcycle accident. It left me in the hospital for almost two months. I flat-lined twice and the doctors had told my parents to say goodbye because I wouldn’t survive the night. I had lost 90% of my blood, draining the hospital of its A+ blood supply through transfusion. I had a compound fracture in my left leg, a broken wrist and three broken ribs that had punctured my lungs, my heart and my liver. As a result, I also had a tracheotomy.

The tracheotomy scars were easy to fix. A plastic surgeon just snipped out the scar tissue and glued my skin together. You can’t tell it was there.

My insides healed too. But I was left with a wide, angry white scar down the middle of my torso from being held open by a surgical retractor.


It divided me like a playing field, each side populated by opposing asymmetrical circles, like little players ready to charge each other. The plastic surgeon was worried that if he tried to make it look prettier by cutting the scar tissue out and reattaching it, I wouldn’t have enough skin left to have healthy kids.  He was afraid it wouldn’t stretch enough and their little brains wouldn’t have enough room to grow.  So even before motherhood, I was making sacrifices for the kids.

So, instead of prancing the Earth, throwing fairy dust into the air from the gratitude I felt for not only surviving this accident but also managing to thrive afterwards, I was instead engulfed in feelings of remorse and nostalgia for the times I was able to walk around in shorts, worry free (because now I also had two vicious round scars on my calf and shin from the bones popping out + a white stripe on my thigh from the skin they had to peel off to cover that mess). And I was never going to wear a bikini, I decided. No way was I going to expose my ugly middle to a world of judgmental, media scarred people. No way. It didn’t matter if I worked out all the time to look my best, a tankini was the closest I’d ever come to barring my body.

bikini 2
working out in paradise is tough

And that’s just how it’s been all these years. But for all the negativity that surrounds getting older, there are some rarely talked about benefits. For one, I’m not as hard on myself. Not every thing I do or every way I look is a direct reflection of who I am.

I love too many things about myself to keep letting myself get dragged down by trying to be the person I think everyone wants me to be, instead of discovering and embracing the unique person I am.

So fast forward 10 years to the boyfriend who is now a husband who tells me, when it comes up, that he doesn’t even see my scars.

bikini 6

This now husband and I have three children we’re raising and friends we love so much, we want to travel with them and so we do.

bikini 5

We went to Club Med this past summer for our annual big trip.

bikini 8

And on this trip I have decided I no longer want to hide myself from the world. I am going to throw myself open and let the world do what it wants.

bikini 9
That’s right world: do it!

I have too many other things to be grateful for to worry about getting the seal of approval from strangers.


DSC_0009 bikini 4

And you know what? No one looked twice. And what did my family think?

bikini 3
Beyond blessed. Thank you God.

Stepmothering: The Course I Took Too Late


When I became a stepmom eight years ago, there were few resources to guide me over the rough spots in my new life. I read the only thin book I could find on the subject of parenting step children, and its bottom line was: “It’s the hardest job you’ll ever have and no one will ever thank you for it.”

Before step-motherhood, I thought I was a kind and thoughtful person.


But based on my troubled relationships with my stepson, my in-laws and – as a result – my husband, I soon began to think there must be something inherently wrong with me. I imagined that someone else with a different background, a different disposition, or even a different hairstyle would have handled things better.


Recently I took Kathy Hammond’s course, How to be a Stepmom: 51 Ways To Save Your Marriage, Your Shirt and Your Sanity, online at Udemy.com and realized that even Mary Poppins wouldn’t have been up to the tough job of stepmothering without at some point thinking she was losing her mind.

Hammond is a business development executive and lifestyle coach living in Yorba Linda, and has mothered two stepsons for 23 years. Her course includes advice on money, legal issues, discipline, extended family and relationships. This is one woman’s experience, but I felt it addressed the most common situations a new stepmother will face.


The first lecture alleviated the guilt that had haunted me from the beginning of my marriage. Hammond said: “You can’t fix a hurt you didn’t cause.”

I went into my relationship with my husband, who was a widower, and his son, trying to soften the pain they had experienced with the untimely death of my husband’s first wife. I was never able to do that, and I wish now that someone had told me it would have been impossible for that to happen.

I wish I had had the benefit of her insight eight years ago. It would have saved a lot of energy and heartache. This 90-minute course was definitely worth the $9 price of admission.

Check out the course yourself at www.udemy.com.

The original article for this post appeared in LA Parent.

Na’am Yoga: for kids with special needs or people who need to heal

It sounds like science fiction. It has words attached to it that sound like another language. Words like mudra, mantra and pranayama. But it’s actually an approach to healing that is rooted in ancient history and modern science.

It’s called Na’am Yoga and its unlike any kind of yoga I’ve ever practiced and I’ve been practicing for over a decade. It combines movement (mudra), sound (mantra) and breath (pranayama) to move mountains within the body and mind, promoting healing far beyond the reaches of conventional Western medicine.


The Na’am Yoga LA center offers classes for everyone, the physically healthy individual as well as the one with specific health challenges. They are a non-profit because they offer free sessions targeted to promote healing for people who’ve experienced set backs such as strokes, diabetes or cancer. They even offer a Friday class for those on the autism spectrum.

I sat in on the class tailored for those on the spectrum and felt the floor shake as the kids pounded on it, combining musical beats with movement and joy. Instructor Eugene Pisareuski helped release any tension the kids may have held in their bodies by guiding them through sharp exhalations and beautiful mantras. The room resonated from a chorus of their declarations that “I am love to all. I am peace to all.” They filed out after class with soft faces and laughter.


One parent, Kate, thinks it works. She said her two adopted, autistic sons have participated in the Friday class for two years. “I wish they could do this everyday.” She said the class left them calmer and they sleep better. Her sons, Nathan age 22 and Michael age 8, she explained, come from traumatic backgrounds on top of the autism they must navigate. “This practice centers them and that’s a definite plus.”

Executive Director of Na’am Yoga Los Angeles, Jane Mirshak said there are many different paths to healing but this one “opens your heart and makes you happy. When you are happy, you can deal with stress.” And doctors believe stress is the cause of many diseases.


Mirshak said there is much research on sound and breath and it all gets incorporated into Na’am Yoga. The sound redirects energy throughout the body, the movements and pressure points stimulate healing in both body and brain, then breath promotes relaxation.

“Whatever ailment someone is experiencing,” said Mirshak, “we could design a routine to specifically address it.”

Many of the teachers with whom I spoke found Na’am Yoga after seeing the positive results of someone they knew who was practicing it while also battling disease. Even Kate is now training to incorporate the technique of Harmonium, a healing tool created by Na’am Yoga founder, Dr. Michael Levry, for use in her home. According to the Na’am Yoga website, Dr. Levry discovered the secrets that inspired Na’am Yoga through the teachings of spiritual gurus in India.

Excited by this new discovery, I quickly shared the news with my parents. My father practiced yoga for years until two strokes left him unable to perform many of the moves in a typical yoga class. Since beginning his new practice of Na’am Yoga, his caretaker tells me he’s happier and wakes up excited to start the day. Na’am Yoga, it turns out, is good for everyone in the family, even if you’re not the one practicing it.

There are 11 Na’am Yoga centers around the world. For more information go to: www.naamyoga.com or www.naamscience.com


A shorter version of this post originally appeared in LA Parent Magazine